Bursting at the Seams

March 14, 2010. We said goodbye to our little Hughie.

I miss Hughie everyday. I think about that last evening, alone with him and Hugh often....and yet, haven’t been able to write about this sacred experience. I do remember holding Hughie in my arms for as long as I wanted. He felt so good in my arms and I wanted time to stand still so I could stay in that moment forever. I also remember the moment Hugh and I looked at one another, both of us knowing, it was time to let go. Hugh and I sang some hymns as we spent our last hours with Hughie. I remember looking out the hospital window at the fast approaching evening sky....feeling a sense of peace with Hughie in my arms and Hugh’s arm around me. I received confirmation that night that we are indeed an eternal family. “Abide with Me; ‘Tis Eventide” was one of the songs we sang, and when I reflect on that Sunday evening in March, the words to this song describe perfectly, better than I could ever author, how I felt that evening...preparing to say goodbye.

Abide with me; ‘tis eventide. The day is past and gone;

The Shadows of the evening fall; The night is coming on.

Within my heart a welcome guest, Within my home abide.

Abide with me; ‘tis eventide. Thy walk today with me

Has made my heart within me burn, As I communed with thee.

Thy ernest words have filled my soul, And kept me near thy side

Abide with me; ‘tis eventide, And lone will be the night

If I cannot commune with thee, Nor find in thee my light.

The darkness of the world, I fear, Would in my home abide.

O Savior, stay this night with me; behold, ‘tis eventide.
O savior, stay this night with me; Behold, ‘tis eventide.

I am forever indebted to my sweet Hughie for bringing me closer to the Savior. For helping me better understand what the Plan of Salvation means for me and my family. Without the Savior, the tides of life are too much to take on. Hughie is alive. He is alive in my memories of him, alive in our family’s daily prayers and conversation, and he is “alive in Christ”....just as we all are.

“For, for this end was the law given; wherefore the law hath become dead unto us, and we are made alive in Christ because of our faith...” 2 Nephi 25:25

“For behold that all little children are alive in Christ...” Moroni 8:22

(I wrote this for the VW Sometimes last year. It's a family newsletter the Van Wagenen family puts together; sporadically, hence the name.)