Bursting at the Seams

A Little Jealous...

**Last night, after Ruby's fun day with dad, this is how their day together ended...cheek to cheek. Although I was a bit jealous, I couldn't help but smile at the special bond between these two.

Hughie took us on a bit of a roller coaster today. He had a scary episode this afternoon with some not so good labs and a dropping blood pressure. Because Hughie is on the ventilator, they check his blood gases frequently when they make changes. They decreased some of his settings today and after, they checked his gases to make sure he tolerates the changes. His pH had dropped to 6.9 (normal 7.35) and his CO2 was greater than 130 (normal 35-45). His blood was extremely acidic because he was retaining way too much CO2. Along with this horrible blood gas, his blood pressure started dropping. Hughie's nurse was very effective at getting the appropriate people at the bedside immediately, and the interventions began. It was quickly decided to check the placement of his ET tube (breathing tube), which ultimately was the problem. After a couple of attempts they were able to get the tube in the correct position. Hughie's anatomy is different than most babies where his trachea is shorter and his vocal chords are lower, so there is not a lot of room for give for the ET tube placement. At this point his ventilator settings were bumped way up to give him extra support to recover from this episode. He also received another fluid bolus (he had received blood earlier in the am) to help increase his blood pressure--his dopamine was at the maximum of 20. So, my little man will probably get even puffier than he is now. During all this, Hughie had multiple chest x-rays to check his lungs and on one of these new air pockets showed up in his intestines...causing concern for a possible bowel perforation (if this was the case Hughie would go straight to surgery). They have since done a couple follow-up x-rays of his abdomen and so far they have ruled-out the possibility of a bowel perforation...thank goodness!

Although I have been in plenty of stressful situations in my nursing career...it is not the same when it is your own child. I felt so panicked and scared today when all of this started. My heart was racing as I wondered if they were going to be able to stabilize him quick enough. I, along with Hughie's nurse, kept watching his blood pressure drop on the monitor, and it seemed it wasn't going to stop. In the moment, it felt like Hughie might not make it, but I don't think this was ever the case. The whole time the doctors, nurse practitioners, and respiratory therapists, knew they would get Hughie back to a more stable place. I am grateful for their competence in caring for Hughie. I am grateful for prayer...which helped to calm me when my irrational self started taking over. I am grateful for my sweet little Hughie. I am grateful for Hugh...I was much relieved when he arrived to be by my side as we anxiously waited for our son to stabilize. I am grateful for life...which all too often I take for granted. I am grateful that since this episode, Hughie has been stable.

As I said good-bye to Hughie tonight, I mentioned to his nurse how it is hard to leave him and I wish I could just give him a kiss. (I was under the impression kissing him was a huge infection control issue). His cute nurse told me, without hesitation, that giving him a kiss was just fine. So I left my sweet little babe with a goodnight kiss...