What a Wonderful World...

{ 2009 Family Christmas Shot}

As this Christmas week comes to an end....I feel so blessed. I love my little family and the joy being together brings into my life. I also love all the family surrounding my little family, because of you my world is wonderful. It is my conviction that a loving Heavenly Father made this all possible, and that Christ truly is the reason for this wonderful Christmas I have enjoyed. Merry Christmas, 2009!

{Almost 24 weeks!}

I also feel very blessed that little Hughie is growing....my belly is expanding at a rapid rate! April 16th will be here before I know it. Even my little man had a good Christmas...his aunt Mal and Grandma Suzi couldn't resist getting him some gifts. So special to think about Hughie wearing his tiny outfits oh so soon!

Some Mornings...

It was early Saturday morning....my alarm sounding at 5:15 am. Hugh looked so cozy laying next to me, and I would have given anything to stay in bed and spend the day ahead with my little family. Nevertheless, after pushing snooze one too many times, I rolled out of bed and started getting ready for work. Some days, I just don't want to go (which I'm sure is the case with most working people in the world :). But it seems once I get there, my day usually goes okay and the 12 hours go by pretty darn quick. This Saturday was no exception....I may even say it was a blessing. I had a really busy day, but also had the most bright, loving, and exceptional young lady as one of my patients. She taught me a lot about life in those quick 12 hours of spending some time with her. This darling girl had the ability to literally light up her room with her presence alone. She could have been grumpy about being sick and in and out of the hospital for the past year...I would have totally understood if she wanted to complain and vent to me as I went about my nursing cares. But she did just the opposite, and made my day and life brighter just having met her. She is a true example of making a choice in life...deciding to swim not sink, smile not frown, and reach out lift those around her. What a blessing.

Some mornings I may not feel like the leaving the comfort of my warm bed to go to work...but on Saturday my efforts were rewarded. Life is all about the people we meet, the relationships we build, and the love we show to all God's children (all mankind). I am fortunate to meet so many wonderful, strong children and their families. I was reminded of this on Saturday. Not to mention, it was wonderful going home to my smiling Ruby, so excited to see me! In a world where there seems to be so much bad...there is a lot of good. We just have to wake-up.

Our little Ruby....Happy Birthday my little Love Bug!

Thanks for making our world so bright!

Last year at this time...

I'm sitting at my computer at work, thinking about what I was doing last year at this time. I was in the middle of labor, waiting for an epidural to ease the edge of the intense pain. I remember feeling so much relief almost immediately once the epidural was placed...and then I remember being really chatty and the nurse telling me to take some deep breaths. I was too busy chatting, that I wasn't breathing enough. I remember being so excited to meet my little girl for the first time...thinking about it now gives me goosebumps and brings some tears to the surface. Such a sweet, tender moment when Dr. Terry place Ruby in my arms and Hugh and I heard her little cry for the first time. Last year at this time, was such a pivotal moment in Hugh's and mine relationship. Since our marriage I have always felt more confident with him by my side...but that night, last year, I NEEDED him by my side. He didn't fail me and I will always cherish the sweet experience we shared of bringing out little Ruby safely to this world. I can still remember Hugh's tear-filled eyes and thinking, Ruby is so lucky to have Hugh as her daddy. I also remember feeling so blessed and loved to have both of our families outside our door anxiously waiting for Ruby's arrival and so diligently advocating for me with every doctor and nurse that entered my room (I think I was wailing pretty loudly until the epidural was started). After hearing my mom and sisters's side of the story, it was everything they thought it would be based on the movie "Father of the Bride: Part II", which gave us all a laugh (this is an endearing favorite in the Meyer family.) To be honest, I really enjoyed my birth experience with Ruby, and it has been so rejuvinating to think about it tonight, exaclty one year later. (I am a bit excited to do it all over again in April:)

Ruby has become quite the little character since that early morning last year; and yet, still hasn't grown much hair. She is my little buddy and I love spending my days with her. Today as I left for work, she was so content being with her Grandpa Scott...I asked for a hug and kiss, which she willingly gave me. I then said goodbye with a wave, and she waved at me with the most darling, cheesy grin on her face. She then proceeded to play with her Grandpa and pull out all his papers tucked in his shirt pocket. It is amazing what a year can bring...especially one that flew by way too fast! {stay tuned for some pictures of my little love bug}

A Chill is in the Air!

Starting off the Holidays right...

Our little "grinch" all bundled to enjoy the atmosphere...

The lights and chill in the air couldn't be matched!

Ruby loving her aunt Mal time...

Thanks for coming along, Mal...we love you more than we love the holidays :)

Swimming...

I feel like I'm swimming and the edge of the pool is creeping farther from my grip. I am beginning to wonder if my tired body will give in to the current before I can make it to safety. My bobbing head keeps filling with water, only making things worse and my lungs sore. There is too much information for me to soak in; yet, not enough to even begin to understand what may be ahead. The more I think, the more scared I become and I know I can't tread much longer. When suddenly, I stop thinking and start feeling. My heart becomes steady and stronger than before, somehow giving my wearied body the strength to keep going. I now understand I am not alone, as I feel so much love surrounding me. My head becomes immersed in the water and as I make my way to the surface, I realize I have made it to safety. Today I went for a swim....tomorrow will start on dry land.

Little Hughie...

I'm worried about you. I hope you are okay in there, in my womb. It is almost certain that you will be named after your dad. It's a great name and it seems very fitting for you to have it. You are our little Hughie and I am blessed to feel your little spirit around me each day. I am grateful for each of your tiny kicks that give me some tangible reassurance of your presence. Did you hear your dad tell you how much he loves you tonight? I hope so. Every once in awhile your sister Ruby puts her mouth on my belly, my only explaination is that she knows you are in there. We all love you. Be safe.

All Grown-Up

Apparently, Ruby thinks it is okay to grow-up quicker than I can keep up with her. Doesn't she know she needs to ask my permission to do this kind-of stuff. Although, it is nice to have a little helper to put the clothes into the dryer for me. This has become one of her favorite chores, unlike cleaning up her toys where she just sits and watches me as I put her toys away. She does, however, bob her head up and down as I sing the clean-up song. (just tightening the grip she has on my heart).




Because Ruby doesn't leave my side when I get ready in the mornings, we have started a routine where I sit on the floor to blow-dry my hair and put on some make-up. Well, Ruby thinks she needs to put on some make-up too, which consists of her pulling out any object from my make-up bag and rubbing it on her head (a little make-up/hair blow-drying combo I'm guessing? Too bad she doesn't have any hair to blow-dry). I have even caught her "putting on make-up" when she thinks no one is around. When will she learn that mom's have eyes on the back of their heads? I guess one thing at a time!
I am also realizing how quickly I can pass on bad habits to my daughter. I hope you learn more good than bad from me, Ruby. You may think I am perfect right now and can do no wrong :), but one day (all too soon) you will realize I am human and have just as many flaws as the next person. Just know, Ruby, I will always love you.

Meet the newest member of our family

Meet Mr. Monkey. This little green fellow joined our family this week in honor of little babe. It's a boy! We found out this week the fun news about our little guy, and Ruby and I knew we had to make a trip to get him his very own monkey. Ruby's monkey was given to her by my mom after we found out she was a girl, and now Ruby has taken a special liking to Monkey (pink monkey's official name). Throughout my pregnancy with Ruby, I kept Monkey in Ruby's cradle and somehow Monkey was a great substitute until our little girl arrived. Mr. Monkey is no different and even Ruby is aware that someone new has joined our fam. Mr. Monkey sits next to Monkey on Ruby's rocking chair and every time we go into her room she points to the chair and starts to jabber. All this monkey business may seem silly, but in my crazy mind this green knitted fellow symbolizes the sweet spirit I already feel from my little babe.

We also found out that our little man seems to be having some complications with his development that the doctors are concerned about. On Monday, we met with a maternal-fetal doctor and genetic counselor to do some more testing. We will have some more answers next weekend. As Hugh and I sat in the doctor's office on Monday, we both felt a strong sense of peace and comfort. I am anxious to find out more information, but I love this little babe and for the past couple of days I have really felt his special spirit surrounding me and our family. I can't change what may be going on with our little man, but I know the thoughts, prayers, and fasting from all our loved-ones has helped me get to a place where I do feel some peace about the situation. I am surrounded by such goodness. Thank you. Mal, we all loved the beautiful flowers...they brought a special spirit all their own :).

Sweetness

Last Saturday, Hugh and I were fortunate to go on a date...just the two of us. We planned our date on Friday and called my mom to babysit the Roo. I was giddy and excited all Saturday to get dressed up and go out on the town with one especially good looking fella (he even got dressed up for the occasion). We went to dinner and a movie. We have not gone to a movie since Ruby's birth, almost a year ago. Dinner was great mostly because I got to spend some much needed one-on-one time with Hugh. I love him. After dinner we headed to the theatre to watch "Where the Wild Things Are". The movie was great and I did shed a few tears at the end. Max was absolutely adorable and the wild things were amazing...identical to the illustrations in the book. My favorite line of the movie came when one of the wild things is talking to Max and Max says her, "But your family" and the wild thing replies, "Sometimes being a family is hard". The biggest impression the movie left on me is that children are not young forever. I came home to my sweet little Ruby (thanks for watching her mom, she loves playing with her grandma) and wanted to rewind time and do a better job of soaking her in. All too often I am waiting for the next stage that I don't appreciate what is right in front of me. Yesterday morning I got Ruby her morning bottle and instead of feeding her and planning my day, I laid her next to me in my bed and I just watched her drink her milk in the silent morning darkness. It was absolute sweetness (much like this picture Hugh took of her on a family fall hike).

Where is the chicken in my chicken chow mein?

When I was little I did a dance to a funny little song Where is the Chicken in My Chicken Chow Mein? The song went something like this..."Where is the chicken in my chicken chow mein, my chicken chow mein, my chicken chow mein...I looked high, I looked low, can't be found, no..no..no...can't find my chicken anywhere!" My costume for the dance was a traditional magenta Chinese dress (at least traditional to me at age 6) and a pointed hat....guess it had something to do with the chow mein in the song? Well, after all these years, I finally found my chicken...little Roo made the cutest darn chicken I've ever seen! She was worth the wait :) She also looked darling sitting next to one of the great witches at Gardner Village...not scared one bit!

(Can you believe she holds her bottle all by herself, my baby

is slipping away)

(Monster Ruby will be back next Halloween to get you all...ha ha ha)

Live action Ruby coming at ya!

Little babe update

I get so nervous before my pregnancy check-ups. Butterflies gather as I sit in the waiting room, anticipating my name to be called. My heart beats fast when they take my blood pressure...is it going to be too high?. I'm sure I am almost blue from holding my breath as my doctor gets the doppler ready to listen to the heartbeat...what if he can't find the heartbeat?. This happened with my check-ups for Ruby, and it happened yesterday as I went to my second appointment to check out little babe's progress...I need to chill. On the other hand, I always leave in utter amazement that there really is another person growing inside of me. I heard the heartbeat to prove it...such a miracle. There isn't a sweeter sound than hearing the "lub-dub" of a fetus's heart through a dobbler device. Today the little babe even threw in a little kick for me to hear, I can't wait to feel those movements. Although I am feeling tired and frequently nauseated, I am quickly remembering how fun it is to be pregnant. I love you little babe. When I got home from my appointment, I found my little Roo sound asleep on her auntie's chest...so sweet.

Grow, grow, grow...

My Van Wagenen family has a tradition of doing a family newsletter. This has been going on long before I became a member of the family. Due to the inconsistent nature of this publication, the title is Van Wagenen Sometimes. In the last publication, my sister-in-law Kristina submitted a poem she had written for her youngest daughter, Smee (Sarah Marilee). She writes how little Smee is "gonna grow" so quickly...

"You're my little baby, Smee

So tiny now, but you will see

You're gonna grow...

When morning comes I'll wake to find

You're all grown up, left me behind

You're gonna grow...

You're gonna grow grow grow..."

There are more verses to this sweet poem, but I just had to share a few because lately as I watch Ruby each day, Kristina's words keep resonating in my head and heart. Most days I am astounded at Ruby's growth and development. These little creatures from heaven seem to be hard wired to learn. I love watching Ruby grow, but part of my heart aches that she won't be my little baby forever. She is going to become a little lady before my very eyes. Lately, Ruby LOVES going up the stairs. She will play with her toys in the family room for a little bit, then she drops what she is doing and heads straight for the stairs. She is becoming very quick and efficient at making her ascent. When she gets to the top she turns around, looks at me, smiles, and claps her hands. There is nothing better in this world! Is there any way I can stop time....just for awhile?

I prefer Hugh Nibley over Glenn Beck any day...

As Ruby and I pulled our cart up to the check-out lane at the grocery store today, we passed a new display of "best-selling" books. One of these books was Glenn Beck's "Arguing with Idiots". I wanted to throw-up. The thought came to my head, it must take one to know one. But, I quickly realized I don't want to sink to Mr. Beck's level by calling people I don't agree with, idiots. Although, the way he spouts off his loud mouth puts him in a position to be called an idiot. Not to mention, I want it to be clear that although Mr. Beck is LDS, his opinion does not reflect that of all LDS people...especially mine! I was prompted to write about this because before leaving for the store I voted yes on a facebook poll that Fox News should fire Glenn Beck...Beck has been on my mind. Once we got home I was still fired up about my run-in with Mr. Beck, but decided to sit down and play with Ruby and see what afternoon television had to offer us. I scrolled through the channel menu and noticed BYU television was playing "Hugh Nibley: Faith of an Observer". Brother Nibley is the namesake of my husband, and my father-in-law produced this biography. I have never seen it all the way through, so I clicked on channel 21 to watch. As I learned more about Hugh Nibley and his great character, I was moved by his absolute faith. He was such an intelligent man, but never sought or wanted the accolades of others. He reminded me that every living thing in this world is to be respected and enjoyed, not destroyed and consumed. It is interesting that in one day I would come across two different members of the church, each evoking such different emotion for me. Hugh Nibley has much more knowledge and insight about making a difference in this world than Glenn Beck ever will. I think I will pass on buying Glenn Beck's new book and instead pull one of Hugh Nibley's books off our bookshelf to enjoy.

My Red Danskos

I'm not sure if it is being pregnant, the late hour, or just simple gratitude...but as I sit here working at 2:00 am my eyes are filled with tears. I went down to the cafeteria to see if I could find anything appealing to help me stay alert for six more hours. While waiting in line for some tator tots (the cafeteria was hopping tonight), I looked down at my red dansko clogs and my eyes welled with tears. Not only are these hands down the most comfortable shoes I own, they were a graduation gift from my sister Mal. These shoes have carried my weary feet through my first rookie year as a registered nurse, and they show no sign of stopping anytime soon. I have had some crazy days in these shoes...sometimes I didn't think I had it in me to go back. Maybe it's the great construction of the shoes, but thinking about it tonight, that is just an extra bonus. I'm so lucky to have my sister Mal in my life. My red danskos are a reminder that she will always be on the sideline of my life cheering me on and giving me encouragement and strength to keep going. She does this mostly through her great example, and even when we were young I looked up to her in so many ways...I still do. Thanks for the shoes, Mal. They mean more to me than you'll ever know.

Bursting at the Seams..

And so it begins...I have been so reluctant to start a blog, and partially just lazy. Who has time for a blog? Well, after spending much time reading other people's blogs, I realized that I have time for a blog. Not to mention, after stumbling upon my little sister's blog and thoroughly enjoying myself as I read her posts, I realized that maybe having my own blog can be fun. My little Ruby is becoming quite the character, and I'm finding myself behind in recording all of her cute little quirks and accomplishments. As I've watched Ruby grow and my sweet Hugh become such a nurturing father, I feel as if I'm bursting at the seams with emotion. The other night I couldn't fall asleep, so I sneaked into Ruby's room and just stared at her sweet sleeping face and then I crept back into my room and watched Hugh, sound asleep. I was overcome with love for these two people. My life is far from perfect and some days I feel so tired, grumpy, and worn-out, but I'm lucky to have Hugh and Ruby around to help me see the sun again. Welcome to my blog...bursting at the seams (literally...baby number two is due in April!)