Thank You.

Last night I received a very special Christmas gift from an anonymous giver, delivered by a cute blonde girl I didn't know. She just smiled and said "no", when I asked if I knew her. I was so perplexed and overwhelmed with gratitude, emotion, and amazement that I don't even think I told the girl to tell the giver Thank You. So, Thank You. I have been awe-struck with this giver's kindness and generosity. This beautiful gift will be another sweet reminder of Hughie, in our home. I feel so very blessed.

Jolly Old Saint Nick.

We are coming up on a week before Santa makes his stop. Ruby wasn't so sure about him when she met him for the first time this year (we by-passed Santa's lap last year...what's the point if she is just going to be scared out of her mind?) No crying, screaming, or kicking was involved, instead, Ruby just stared at Santa in absolute silence. I don't even think she blinked. Classic.

Today Ruby and I wrapped some gifts. Me, thinking she is only two and wouldn't remember what we wrapped, let alone who they were for, didn't wait to wrap the gifts when Ruby wasn't around (nor did I refrain from telling her who the gifts were for). Major backfire. Tonight when Hugh got home she told him there was a movie waiting for him under the tree (she was hoping to watch it)...too bad that is the one and only gift I have for Hugh and it is now spoiled. Oh, well. Hugh got a good laugh, that should count for something. Happy wrapping everyone...barely a week before Christmas...we can't wait!

Face lift.

Thanks, Call for the new look to my blog. You really are one smart, talented, and beautiful girl. You must have gotten all of mom's creativity genes...which isn't fair because she has a lot. Nevertheless, I am glad you are putting them to good use to serve your older sis.

Where does the time go?

Can you believe my little Ruby is two? I can't. On Friday, December 10th, about 4:30 in the morning, Ruby turned two. I had been telling her her birthday was coming up in December and she would be two. So, when anyone asked how old she was turning, she would say, "two, 'cember." Pretty funny. We had a fun day celebrating Ruby. We started the day with a special breakfast and completed the day with a "Go Dog, Go" party.

Already at two, Ruby is starting to show a little attitude. When she doesn't want to do something (which is often these days) she looks at me with determination in her eyes, folds her arms, and says very convincingly, "I don't!" Getting her dressed in the mornings is almost impossible as she wiggles away from me before I can even get a new diaper on her. She is constantly singing and dancing to her favorites: Taylor Swift, High School Musical, and Princess and the Frog. She also insists we dance with her and then makes us twirl her around endlessly until we are about to throw-up. She loves spending time with her Grandmas, grandpas, aunts, and cousins. Thank goodness we live close to family. Every day I am amazed at how well she talks...pretty much in full sentences. It is almost as if I blinked and there she was...a big two year old all ready to be independent. We love you, Ruby.

{Breakfast for Ruby...blowing out her candle...which she has been practicing for weeks with all the candles around the house}

{Getting all ready for her "Go Dog, Go" party. She had to sit by her dogs and take a picture by them. She was pleased with all her dogs in party hats.}

{Another round of happy birthday...Ruby was a little overwhelmed by so many singing just for her}

{Ruby helping Tanner and Tyler with their ice cream sundaes.}

{Astrid was only interested in the frosting. Smart girl.}

{Nain and Mal looking cute in their party hats.}

{Ruby being spoiled by our wonderful families.}

{Thanks to these two for making the party happen}

{Ruby sporting some of her birthday loot}

The BIG project is complete...with success.

What a special experience it was to be a part of the Festival of Trees this year. It means a lot to me in so many ways. Primary Children's has been my home away from home for the past three years. In 2008, being a brand new registered nurse, I started my nursing career on the wonderful Children's Surgical Unit at Primary's. Being a nurse at Primary's has really given me perspective on life, as I have taken care of so many strong and brave families and their sick children. To be honest, I never thought I could be as strong as so many of these parents with sick children are. And I guess deep down I hoped I would never have to find out.

That February (can you believe we are coming up on a year?) afternoon, when my Hughie was transferred to Primary's, I felt some comfort knowing he was going to be in a place that was familiar. As I sat at the crib side of my son for almost a month, suddenly, my role changed. I was no longer the nurse, but the worried mother anxiously hoping my son would survive. And although my sweet son's time was short, I am grateful he received such great care from the NICU doctors, nurses, and respiratory therapists. It's funny, as I often reflect on Hughie's condition, I realize at times it took me a while to really understand his condition, where had I been the nurse at his bedside, I would have realized what was going on a whole lot quicker. There is such a thing as nurse gear and mom gear :). Nevertheless, being a part of the Festival was a great way to keep Hughie's memory alive and to share a little part of him with the thousands of people who attended the festival. I couldn't have done any of this without great family and friends. I think it was therapeutic for all of us to work on this tree together. We had such a nice time the day we decorated...everyone was throwing up the decorations, I was stressing if they were going in the right spots, and low and behold, it turned out perfect.

A day doesn't go by that I don't hurt for Hughie. I don't think the longing to hold him and the homesickness for him will ever go away.

{Before the Fun Began!}

{The tree all complete..."Twinkle, twinkle, little star...take me where the cowboys are"}

{Hughie's sweet little hands}

{Busy getting all those ornaments on the tree}

{It really was a group effort}

{Ruby stayed occupied with dad, grandmas, aunts, and cousin Astrid...and climbing the ladder}

Freshlyground.

Hugh introduced me to this South African group. Check out this song and music video...it's so fun! They are quickly becoming a family favorite!

No rhyme or reason...just photos waiting to be posted.

The first measly snow fall back in October. By the time we made it out the snow was finished. (More pictures to come of the AWESOME snow we've received in November!)

Pleased as punch...with "noopies" in tow

She LOVES wearing "butcka's"(grandpa's) glasses

This cowboy stuff is serious business.

P.S. Apparently there is another Ruby running around our house. When Hugh asked Ruby who spilt water on her carpet she first blamed mom, and when Hugh interrogated her further, she simple said "the other Ruby." Boy, has she got us fooled...not to mention Santa!

Now that's capturing the spirit of giving...thanks Shutterfly!

Before the holidays began this year, I told myself I wasn't going to let myself get too stressed out. Well, Shutterfly has put me that much closer to that goal with their free Christmas card promotion this holiday season...50 free Christmas cards for bloggers! Now that's the spirit of giving. I used Shutterfly for Ruby's birth announcements, and I was very pleased with how they turned out. The announcement is still on my fridge and Ruby is almost two! I couldn't believe the awesome selection they have of Christmas cards...the hard part will be choosing just one. Here's a little peek at some of their darling cards from their their awesome holiday card collection:

And I hope I'm not giving any gifts away, but I don't think cards are the only thing I will be ordering from Shutterfly. I love their photo calendars and with Ruby's birthday just around the corner, I'm thinking of trying out their birthday invitations. Can't wait to get our Christmas cards in the mail and I'm even more excited to receive them from all our friends and family!

Interested in 50 free holiday cards?

Share on your blog, facebook, and twitter

http://bit.ly/sfly2010

A little project....well, actually a BIG one.

Today I am busy at the sewing machine with Pandora playing Christmas music in the background, working on the cutest little ornaments for a Christmas tree. And this isn't just any Christmas tree...it's Hughie's tree for the Festival of Trees. For the past couple months I, with the help of my both my families, have been working on this project. I can't wait to see it all come together when we actually decorate the tree the Monday after Thanksgiving. I have my dad's good friends, The Zarbock's, to thank for helping us with this BIG project. It was their idea and it has been so nice to do something in honor of Hughie instead of just being sad and sorry for myself. So, if you make it to the festival this year, look for Hughie's tree.

Here a little peek at my inspiration for the tree:

"Twinkle, twinkle, little star....Take me where the cowboys are"

"Come join us in our circle of friends...there's always room for one more"

In seventh grade I took a "singing for fun class" (that is seriously the name of the class, taught by the one and only, Mr. Russell). One of the songs we sang contained the lyrics found in the title of this post. Cheesy, I know, but it is what came into my head when Ruby and I were playing a little game together the other night, while waiting for Hugh to get home from a late night at school. We put Ruby's animals in a circle and we sang songs together as Ruby marched around her plush toys leading the music with her hands. And I have to say, I really enjoyed myself...it was so much fun. I think Ruby had fun too. She now says, "Come here, mom." Proceeding to lead me to her room and then she says, "Lets make circle." I sometimes wish she could be two (well almost two) forever.

This little song also made me think about these four ladies:

{Nikki. Sarah. Kathy. Meg. Devon. CIrca 1998...I think}

During our middle school years, the five of us were inseparable. We lived in our own little world; making up dances in Sarah's basement, playing night games with the neighborhood boys in the summer, baking cookies, taking dance classes together, attending dance camp, getting in fights, and the list goes on. Middle School, is not a pretty time...but these four girls make look back on that time with fondness. They were my circle of friends.

Sorry LeBron...doesn't matter if you're playing for the Cavs or the Heat, we know how to bring you down! LeBron asks, "What do you want me to do?" our Jazz say, "Move aside so we can do our thing."

Last year it was Sundiata:

This year it was "Miss Bettye's Son" Paul Millsap:

What a great game last night! I'm glad I kept the tv on even when I thought we had no chance of coming back.

**if you have no idea what I'm referring to in the beginning of my post, try to catch LeBron's ridiculous Nike commercial.

**and if you want to read more about my family's thoughts on the jazz and nba, visit meyerjazztalk.blogspot.com.

Can't believe October has come and gone.

Today I was thinking about how pleasant this fall has been. Such beautiful weather...I could get used to having this type of fall year round. I had a distinct impression as I drove to work early this morning that I want to remember how beautiful this fall has been.

{Smee. Astrid. Ruby. hanging out on a bale of hay, each doing their own thing}

So beautiful in fact, that this year when we went to Gardner Village with Ruby's cousins, we didn't have to bundle up like we had to last year. For the past couple of months, we've been getting together Thursday mornings with Ruby's cousins, Smee and Astrid, for cousin outings. I'm so glad Ruby has her cousins close by to keep her good company!

{Last year's outing to Gardner Village. These girlies look so young and so bundled up}

{Gardner Village 2010. Once again, everyone doing their own thing}

"You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown.."

...or Good little lady...

Ruby made the cutest Charlie Brown for Halloween. I knew with her bald head she would fit the part perfect. She is also getting good at saying "cheese" for the camera...hence her cute cheesy smiles in the following pics. Although Halloween isn't my favorite...it was fun dressing up and spending time with family.

{Linus and Charlie Brown all ready for the neighborhood carnival}

{Snoopy and Ruby's pumpkin got to tag along}

{And don't forget Lucy Van Pelt...she made a Halloween appearance!}

Ruby even got to go trick-or-treating for a bit and now has her candy stashed in the cupboards of her kitchen set.

PS. Don't forget to VOTE today!

"I wan go to Grandma Sueez's"

This is what Ruby always says when her mean mom doesn't let her have her way. Pretty smart if you ask me. She know's she usually gets her way if Grandma Sueez has anything to say about it :)....and that's just as it should be.

{Ruby and Grandma Suzi at Gardner Village}

"Come see my tent"

This is Ruby's most current place to play. As I am posting this she is yelling to Call to "Come see my tent!" Yesterday, I woke up from a nap to find Ruby and Hugh watching "Harry Water"(Harry Potter) in the tent. I keep calling it a fort...but Ruby insists it is her tent.

She even has some toys and stuffed animals stashed inside her new little world. Maybe one day soon I can improve my fort making skills so this little munchkin can actually stand inside. If you ever want to visit Ruby's tent come on over...she loves having visitors.

Fancy Nancy...and a party for Graham.

Ruby went to her first friend party last weekend. Cute Graham turned three and had a dinosaur and costume party to celebrate (the party was great, Jess!). Ruby's Charlie Brown costume isn't finished...so Ruby went as Fancy Nancy because it was the easiest costume I could pull together. Her aunt Jasmine made her darling skirt...Ruby calls it her "Princess Tiana" skirt.

All these pictures crack me up because of Ruby's funny faces. She was pretty quiet the whole time while she was staring and soaking everything in. She even kept those glasses on the entire time...they are the best part of her costume :)

Although she was quiet, she did enjoy all the activities my cute friend Jess had planned. Digging for fossils in the sand and coloring petroglyphs. So clever! She even got to take home two of those dinosaur rubber duckies she was eyeing and playing with in the first two pictures.

And here is the man of the hour...handsome Graham. I just love his curly locks! This was the best picture I could get of the two of them. Ruby really is at such a fun age. I love watching her experience new things...especially interacting with other kids. She is shy when she is around them, but once we are home she tells me all about them. I hope she always likes talking to her mom.

I would like to own this painting one day.

{Carl Bloch: Christ and Boy}

I love this painting. It distinctly stood out to me as I walked past it in the Draper Temple when our little Hughie had just passed away. Something about the little boy in this painting made me think of Hughie. I like to think of my Hugh William spending some of his time with the Savior. And I like to picture what he would be like as a little boy...not just a tiny infant trapped in an imperfect body. I guess these are some of the reasons I am so drawn to this painting. I may even like going to the Draper Temple just to spend a moment admiring this little treasure of mine.

**this tiny duplicate I found on google hardly does its beauty justice**

Fashion diva strikes again.

It all began with her wanting to paint while I was working on a painting project of my own. So, I took off her shirt, threw her apron on, and let her have at it!

Somehow she ended up wearing my beanie...and then proceeded to squat on the ground and say, "cheese" when I requested a picture.

And the shoes...I couldn't decide what outfit to wear and pulled out a couple pairs of shoes...Ruby decided to take it upon herself to wear the ones I discarded. She walked with quite grace in those heels I might add!

Her finished painting (and although she kind of spells her name in the tub, she can't do it on paper yet. That was my addition)...and another one of Ruby's fabulous fashion trends. With that face and personality...she can get away with anything.

We hope your reading this, Mal!

We love you. Last night when you went back to your seat, Ruby kept wanting to go find you. I think she knew you needed a little extra love. "I go find, Mal," She kept saying with a bit of urgency in her voice. Can't wait to spend time with you this weekend.

How do you eat your gummy bears?

Apparently, my dad likes to line his all up before eats them (notices the bears in the bottom left side of the picture). While playing cards in Ohio, we noticed that my dad had lined up his gelatin treats in such a neat little row. We couldn't stop laughing and he was concentrating so hard on his hand that he didn't even notice us poking fun.

Still oblivious to our giggling he proceeded to stack them on top of each other. Oh, Dad! I love the concentration in his face. Too funny! Maybe this is his way of escaping the demands of all of us girls?

Power Struggle.

I usually think Ruby's fashion ambition is pretty cute (see above). Well, not today. Getting ready for church this morning turned into a real power struggle between the two of us. I bought Ruby a cute new fall dress since all of her dresses are too short, apparently, Ruby is growing like a weed in the height department. I also had a pair of black sunday shoes (thanks Jasmine and Astrid) waiting to be worn in Ruby's drawer. The perfect match for her dress, but deep down I had a feeling she wouldn't go for it. So, I sneakily distracted her while I put the shoes on her. She immediately noticed and a complete meltdown quickly ensued when I told her she needed to wear those shoes to church. She began crying (more like sobbing), with big alligator tears, hands and knees on the floor, and then started saying

"I wan wear crocs....I wan wear crocs" through her sobs.

I kept saying, "Ruby, can you please wear these shoes, they look so cute with your dress?" I was not going to give up!

This is when Hugh enters the scene and gently asks me, "What is really going on here? Why does she have to wear those shoes?"

I began to defend myself and told him because they matched her dress and her crocs didn't. As the words came out of my mouth I realized I needed to give it up. For some strange reason I almost started to cry, was it because I wasn't going to get my way? I don't know. (I had just got home from a night shift, so I was pretty tired.)

At this point, Ruby was still rolling and crying on the ground, and now she wanted to take her dress off and said she did not want to go to church. So, here's the two of us, throwing tantrums because we weren't getting our way.

Hugh reasoned that since we forced the dress on her (she didn't want to wear that to begin with) we could at least let her chose her footwear. But at this point, Ruby didn't really care about her crocs either. She was crying at Hugh's feet while saying, "I don wan go to church." We were finally able to get her crocs on and she stopped crying and we left for church (ten minutes late.) And Ruby had a very nice time in nursery.

After all this I realized that this power struggle between the two of us is probably the first of many more to come. I need to stop and make sure the things I'm going to fight for are really worth fighting for. Does it really matter that my 2 year old's shoes don't match her Sunday dress? Probably not.